Love You Forever

A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

Dad has been resting a lot. He sleeps most of the time. Sometimes he tricks us when we think he is asleep and we're talking about him and he pipes in to correct something we've said. But most of the time, he is sleeping.

Yesterday morning Dad wanted to get up. Mom helped him sit on the edge of his bed; since he doesn't have much energy anymore she had to hold him up.

She reminded Dad of a story she read on Christmas day about fifteen years ago called Love You Forever. As she rocked Dad back and forth while she held him, she said, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, [forever and ever] my [sweetheart] you'll be."

I think each one of us children have had that heartwrenching moment where we realize that our big, strong dad who once picked us up and carried us with ease is now weak and fragile. Mike never thought he would cradle him in his arms and lift him like a child, April never imagined spoon feeding him ice cream, and I never realized a day would come where I'd have to say, "where do you think you're going?" because he is too weak to get out of bed.

But I know we're all happy to be able to serve him and help him in any way we can. Because it's our turn.

Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, "You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick." So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...

But she couldn't finish because she was too old and sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.

Sleep

Dad is at Alta View hospital getting platelets. Last week when they weighed him he was 183 lbs. Today he was down to 172. He was sleeping peacefully when we went to visit him and he only woke briefly enough to say, "hi baby" when I was talking to him.

When Mike went to visit him a couple hours ago, he said that Mom and Dad were both asleep in Dad's hospital bed. They are the sweetest, most adorable couple. It's so endearing to see how much they love each other.

The good thing about them going to the hospital is that Mom actually gets some sleep. At home she happily empties his catheter, changes his linens, dispenses his medications which are many, and feeds him, gets him dressed, etc. She rests from time to time during the night but she never really sleeps. So I'm hoping that tonight she will sleep.

And I'm hoping that Dad will get enough sleep that he will feel recharged and be ready to come home tomorrow with some fresh new jokes and some strong hugs and that those sparkling blue eyes that I wish I had inherited will be wide open.

Awake and Amazing

Dad has been sleeping a lot lately. But when he is awake he is either making us laugh with his witty one-liners, getting to know his new little dog, enjoying hugs and kisses from his kids and grandkids or even watching some TV.

Earlier this week, Dad woke up wanting to get out of bed. When I saw him trying to get up I asked where he was going. "To go downstairs and watch the news," he answered. I explained to him that he wasn't strong enough to walk and I didn't want to risk him falling. It breaks my heart to have to tell him he can't do something.

At this point, I am certain that if my dad really wants to do something, like walk, he will be able to do it. He has shown such determination and drive that I know I'll always think of him whenever I have to find courage or strength from within myself.

I hope his fight has encouraged you in the same way. Whether you're struggling to do one more rep in your workout and can't seem to find the strength, or whether you feel like hope is lost and you don't think you can go on; I hope you'll think of my dad's example and find that somehow you CAN.

Here he is sitting up on his bed. He doesn't have much physical strength to be able to do this, but with his mental strength and determination, he somehow finds the way. The man is amazing! And such an inspiration.

Over the Weekend

Friday night after everyone had gone to bed, Dad and I were still awake. I was able to get some precious one-on-one time with him.

I asked if he were strong enough to give me a hug and he said, "I always have enough strength for that!"

After a great big bear hug he said, "thanks for loving me so much." I told him it was pretty darn easy.

Since we didn't get a chance to have family prayers before everyone went to bed I asked Dad if he'd like to say them with me. He said he would and then asked me to please forgive him for not kneeling.

Robert arrived on Saturday afternoon and we were all so happy to see him. Especially Dad. After a long embrace Bob thanked Dad for holding on for him. Dad responded, "You are definitely worth sticking around for!"

Before Earl left for St. George he was able to take Dad for a ride in his Corvette. It was a struggle getting Dad into the car but after a long ride he returned to tell us it was well worth it!

On Saturday night Rhett and the boys came home with a new dog. Dad had been expressing a desire for a lap dog and he was happy to meet Shadow, the little Border Terrier, last night.

Dad has been very tired all day today. We've been trying to talk to him tonight but he is having a hard time responding to us right now. Mom is cuddled up next to him in his hospital bed and as always he is surrounded by people who love him.

I can only hope that one day when it's time for me to look back on my life, I will be surrounded by a family who loves and adores me. That my children will be there holding my hands and rubbing my feet. That the friends I've made along the way will check in to say hello and ask what they can do to help. And that when I tell tell them all thanks for loving me so much they will smile and say, "it's pretty darn easy."

Miraculous

I can't thank you enough for your prayers. Your faith is working miracle after miracle.

Robert is on his way home.

Earl's father-in-law is sitting up on his bed today and talking to to his family.

And my daddy is home!

These are truly miracles that can only have been brought about by the faith and prayers being sent heavenward. We have a loving father in heaven who is mindful of us and hears our prayers. We are so grateful to each of you and especially to Him.

More Prayers Please!

We've been at Alta View hospital all day. Dad's transfusion hasn't started yet. The nurse said hopefully within the next hour. At least he isn't bleeding.

When he hadn't had a bowel movement in a month, I asked you to pray for poop. Those prayers were heard and answered!! Again and again! (And again just a few minutes ago!) So your prayers are working and we're so appreciative. So knowing that your faith helps produce answers, I have a few more requests please:

1. Robert is stuck in Iowa waiting on his license to practice medicine in Utah. Please pray that he will get that license right away so he can come home.

2. Earl's father-in-law had a heart attack and Earl had to do CPR to revive him which he did but he is now in intensive care. Please pray for him and his family.

3. Finally, Dad has been so tired today. I'm hopeful that the the transfusion will help give him some energy and help him feel better. But please pray with me that he will feel better and be able to come back home tomorrow.

Of course everyone in our family could use prayers as well but please try to remember these few things tonight. Thank you so much for your faith and prayers on our behalf.

Proven Warrior

Back in February of last year, we were told that Dad had a zero percent chance of surviving a spleenectomy. In November his cancer relapsed and he was given weeks to live. In March his chemo failed and we were told he had 3-4 weeks. A month ago the hospice doctor said that if Dad was alive in a month he would come over and shake his hand. Last Saturday we were told that he had anywhere from just a few hours to a day.

Despite what we have been told, Dad has miraculously managed to defy science by fighting and surviving.

Today Dad's sweet nurse pulled us aside to warn us that based on her experience and what she can observe, she doesn't think he has much longer. She doesn't want us to lose hope and she's not trying to "play God" by giving us a specific time, but she just wanted to make sure we weren't caught off guard if something should happen.

Well, I don't want to sound naively optimistic, but we have heard it before. It doesn't make it any easier, but we still have hope that somehow we can receive yet another miracle.

April asked Dad tonight if he wanted to keep fighting. He hasn't been able to say much today and he's been very tired but he responded to this question with an emphatic "YES!"

We know you'll keep fighting Dad. And we know that you can. After everything we've experienced over the last year and a half; and after all the courage, love, determination and fight you've demonstrated, you've proven yourself to be a true warrior.