Hold your breath a little longer

Georgie is still small enough that he has babies breath. Every time I'm with him, I hold him close and smell him breathe. I don't want to miss that last time when he still smells like a baby.
I've been thinking about last breaths. The problem is, with all the breaths we take, how can we know which one will be last.
I keep holding my breath. I'm hoping that by holding mine, I can buy dad a few more.
I am also treasuring some breaths we have shared.
Like the time we all gasped, watching dad's axe juggling gone bad.
Inhaling yellow cake, and then savoring the fudge frosting.
I remember exhaling "Whoaaaa", while watching dad hit a softball that went sailing on forever, and chasing it across the alfalfa field with every kid in the neighborhood.



I could never catch my breath hiking with dad across little mountain and up to the Grimm's house.
Dad could have had a second job as a storm siren.
A short breath, pursed lips and two pinkies to the tongue, and every kid in Tooele county knew it was 5:15, and time to come home.
Dad's yawns literally shake the house.
Dad, you may not have known but what you did with your precious breath taught me a lot of what I needed to know. You sigh whenever you hear swearing. You never swear. In traffic you called everyone your buddy.
If you disapproved of something, you elongate the last syllable of our name. If you wanted us to come to you, you held the first syllable a little longer.
When we watched "The Gods must be crazy" Mom had to rub your chest make you breathe because you laughed so hard.
You laughed as if laughter was a song. In fact you could harmonize laughter. For instance, in a Charger. You would hit the gas, the car would hum deep, you would laugh low, Earl would giggle high, and the rest of us would belly laugh the parts in between.


My love of all things baby came from you. I can think of a hundred infants whom you held close, and rocked with your big barrel chest. It rises like ocean waves as you breathe.
You'll forgive me if I might miss the last breath, but I have many others that fill the place.
I wasn't there physically when you knelt across the alter from your sweetheart and gently whispered, "yes". With that you enabled our family to be an eternal unit. Many breaths since have affirmed you commitment, reinforced your love, and likely guaranteed that sealing could remain.
Hold your breath a little longer and buy me a few extra. I'll listen for your whistle and I'll be home soon.



I may not be a smart man, but I do know what INI IBIG KITA means

When mom and I worked at the sewing factory, I would turn around and mouth the words "I love you", she came up to my machine once and said "I love you too, Robert"
I replied, "I didn't say I love you, I said 'Olive juice'".
Mom retold the story at my mission farewell. In her version, my reply was" I didn't say I love you, I said 'Grape juice'".
Mom is known for her many talents and her boundless energy. Most people know is gifted with languages and is a dynamic public speaker.
At times she may get a little lost in translation,but she is fluent in expressing love and kindness.
One of her greatest gifts is that it doesn't matter what people say to her, the message she receives is that they love her. Even if that is not what people intend. She gives them the benefit of the doubt. No matter what they are saying, what language, what tone, she believes they are coming from a place of love. She doesn't think that because she is naive or dumb. . . She thinks it because that is how she thinks of others.
You know the primary song that says, "Jesus said love everyone treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you."? Love is what fills her heart. There is no guile, nothing petty. if she knows you, she brags about you, if she brags about you, she loves you.

She is a great mediator too. If we fought, if we were frustrated, if we could not look each other in the eyes, she took the middle and made sure the final message in a fight was that she loved us, and we could love each other. She has an ability to help others hear lovingly, the way she does. There were times I would hear my dad elongate syllables in my moms name. I wondered if she was ever frustrated with that, but she didn't hear what I did. She heard "I love you" and responded in kind.
She doesn't get angry. There was an incident with wooden spoons, and Earl's butt, and the spoon breaking, but 1. Earl deserved it-2. Earl likes to get hit - and 3. They were both laughing.
With all the love she dishes out, does she have enough love left to be in love? Can she love one person above all? She can and she does! She is head over heels for dad. She loves the guy. There is no doubt about it. It would be hard not to understand when she says it and shows it constantly.
There is something she should know too.
Mom, read my lips,"katas ng ubas".

Precious Pictures

Here is just a tiny sampling of our impromptu photo shoot yesterday. A great, big, HUGE thank you to our sweet Sara for capturing these moments so perfectly. If you are in the Utah area and need a fabulous photographer, I would highly recommend her. She's amazing; as you can see.

www.saraboulterphotography.com

Dad and his boys (minus Earl and Bob)
Daddy's Daughters

Dad and 3 of his 10 siblings

Handsome Dad

Sara, we just can't thank you enough for these priceless treasures. We love you so much. We will always treasure this gift. THANK YOU!

Another Miraculous Sunday

It was a looooong night. We all camped out on the floor at Dad's bed with Mom on the couch. It almost felt like Christmas having us all together. Aunt Dena stayed up all night at Dad's bedside. She was there keeping an eye on Dad and making sure he had a cool washcloth on his head when he was warm. She finally went to bed at 5:00 this morning when Mom got up to be with Dad.

About an hour later Dad woke up. He woke up with a smile on his face but had pain in his mouth from his infected teeth. We gave him some of his morphine elixir and he slept a little more.

The nurse came back and was impressed with how well Mom has been taking care of Dad: on top of his medications and dressing his bed and etc. She was even more impressed with Dad. His stomach is a little softer and she heard some faint bowel sounds. It's not much. But we'll take anything we can get!

Early this afternoon he woke up alert and happy and full of life and energy.

Right about then our beloved Dr. Wells showed up. Dr. Wells was our dentist in Tooele. We all love and adore him. Dad has a sharp tooth that has been cutting his tongue. Mom called Dr. Wells and asked if she could file the tooth down with a fingernail file. Of course he said, "no, I have tools that can take care of that." And Mom replied that Dad couldn't drive, especially all the way to Tooele. Dr. Wells immediate response was, "Well I can!"

He arrived with tools and a smile that lights up the room (and not just because he's a dentist) He took great care of Dad and provided much needed relief to his aching mouth.

While Dad was still awake and alert, my dear friend Sara arrived with her camera. Sara is an incredible photographer (check out her website) and offered to take pictures of us with our handsome daddy. I texted her when Dad woke up to see if there were any time today that she could come over. She asked for our address and was here within 20 minutes!

She captured some priceless and precious moments of us with Dad. We can't express how grateful we are to her. We found out that she needed to be at another photo shoot but wanted to make sure to come here first for us.

We are so grateful to be surrounded by such wonderful people, quick to serve and be here at a moment's notice. Thank you so much! We have also been so touched by the beautiful words that have been expressed here. Mom has been reading them to Dad and they are both so grateful for all your kindness and support.

And we are especially grateful for each and every moment we have with our treasured Daddy. He is amazing and incredible. We are awed and inspired by his love for us and his tenacity to keep on fighting. His friend Jim Davis (a fellow Marine) called yesterday and asked how he was doing. Dad replied, "I'm hanging in there one nut, one bolt and one Semper Fi at a time!"

Messages of Love, etc.

The nurse was here today and checking on Dad because his stomach is distended and he hasn't had a bowel movement in two weeks.

She said of course things can always change but said she thinks he only has a few hours to a day left with us.

He doesn't know this and I think he is a little freaked out that we are all here and crying. But we told him that he just needs to poop and he'll be fine. He said he's working on it!

Right now he is awake but so very tired. I don't think he wants to sleep because he is scared. But I keep reminding him that he has plenty of fight left (and he agrees!) and I told him we will all be here when he wakes up.

I was hesitant to post this but I wanted to give everyone who wants a chance to say something to Dad to be able to. If you leave a comment for him I will make sure he hears it.

Thank you ALL for your love, your concern, your support and your prayers. We are all so grateful and appreciative of each and every one of you. Thank you from the bottom of all our hearts.

"Yes Drill Sergeant!"

Dad's Utah Marine Platoon reunion is today. Dad wishes he could go. He went about seven years ago and loved seeing the faces of the men he knew all those years ago.

Yesterday Dad's drill sergeant, Bill Robinson, drove up from New Mexico for the reunion. He heard Dad was sick so he and his wife stopped by the house to see him.

It was such a treat for us to meet him also. He told us some fun stories and Dad was awake and alert so they had a good visit.

He asked if there were a message Dad would like to send to the rest of the Platoon at the reunion. Dad told him to tell them that he loves them.

After we got Dad all settled into his new room upstairs, and after all the visitors left, he slept all day and all night but is awake now and eating lunch.

It's so nice for him to have the sun shining through the window and Mom has been busy organizing the new room, gardening in the front yard and keeping April's house clean.

Back from the Hospital and Moving Upstairs

Dad is home. He and mom arrived just a few minutes ago. He looks much better but is exhausted from the trip.

We have decided to move him upstairs into April's living room. This way he can have direct sunlight and a fresh beeze. Plus when he needs to get transported to the hospital for transfusions, they won't have to carry him up the stairs in the wheelchair, they can bring in a stretcher and take him right out. This will help so much! April and Rhett were both quick to agree without hesitation and I know both Mom and Dad are really grateful to them.

Dad's hospital bed hasn't been moved upstairs yet so he is resting for now on April's bed. I was trying to get him blankets and pillows and anything else he needs to make him more comfortable. But when I asked what I could do for him he said, "I need a Pepsi real bad!" Karen jumped in her car to bring him his drink as soon as I called so he should be right as rain in just a few minutes.

From the Hospital

Karen, Mike and I are here with mom and dad at the hospital. He is receiving his first unit of blood right now. His nose is bleeding pretty badly and he is zoning in and out of dreamland. His dreams are very vivid. He just did a perfect salute and said it was an honor to have everyone here. We asked who he was saluting and he said, "The Marines."

Sometimes he dreams about silly things that don't make sense and other times he is convinced there is someone else in the room or we are somewhere else completely.

It's so hard to see him like this and even harder leaving him. I've been an arm's length away from him nearly every minute since I've arrived; even sleeping right next to Mom and Dad at night (just like I loved to when I was young--and let's be honest--even when I was not that young anymore). And tonight I will be in their big bed all by myself. I am anxiously waiting for Dad to stop bleeding, feel better and come home.

I'll definitely update when he gets home in the morning.

Rhett Taylor and the boys were able to see Grandpa in the hospital too

Karen and Peyton in Dad's hospital room. (We are wearing masks because Dad's white blood cell counts are low so he is susceptible to infection.)